today is another day

today i am home alone, will doing the garden soon, i have been thinking a lot about life and all things surround me, i love my partner, she is not well, cant help her much for i have no money to take her to the doctor,i have let her down and my self too,i lay down in bed this morning thinking what i should do in my life to make things better,inside me say do not  give up the fight, there is way of solving your problem,i pray everyday which i feel good about,i know God is there with me, i am determining to go church one day, i need to, i need answer for my trouble life,if any one has any experience,all suffer in pain suffer in life, could you post a comment.may god be with you all

i am just getting old

yes it come time i wish i was old,never awake from my sleep,i am tired, i cant go on much more,i need the hands of god to take me away from my pain,i am sorry the way i write,i do not have good English,i am mostly in pain, but i wont show it to people, i know god is very busy,i know deep in my heart here for me,for those who suffer in life, do not fear,god is there always to look after you,. i believe you must have faith, i do

heaven

i close my eyes when i went to bed,i tried to imagine what is heaven is  like,i see a along black cloud,it was dark, a small hole in the center,i see a mist of white cloud seem to be suck in through the hole of the dark cloud,it seem to me spirit where heading to heaven,i don't know,i hope the day when my life is finish, god will give me his blessing to allow me in.

am i who i am

i feeling my life is coming to end, i look out my window,wanting to end my life, looking where i can hang  my self,i am feeling depress,i cant cope no more,but if i did am really running from problem that i have created,i know i want to be strong,but i cant have to much pain as for now,but inside me there a voice,telling me hang in there ,i pray to god,i love life, all though when i wake up in the morning,i still look the window for that rope, but every day i am here it a blessing,so i don't who am i, maybe a lost soul searching searching for a better life, may the  lord Jesus for  my sins that i have commit, i don't want ever to see the rope, give me the strength  ., if anyone read my blog,please , who problem like i have please talk to me,my writing is not good it never has been,god bless you all,Ian

what is life

what is life, to me i am in pain, suffering the burden of life,things are never right for me, but trying my best to achieve better things in life, i sometime cry , why i do i don't know,is it i am failure,i have lost the will to do things,i have done my best in life, there a lot of things i am shame what i have done in life,only god can forgive  me,i prayed for forgiveness,i hope he listening to me,i don't except him to answer me, i know he busy watching his earth that we all destroyed,if there any one there who read my blog, perhaps you can give me a answer, may god be with you all

hello all

this is first time i have written blog for i am in god hand,i not doing well in life , things are not to good, been feeling depress,i love life, but cant enjoy it,i  know god is watching me, i pray to him and lord Jesus, i ask him for give my sins,i am now reading the bible,but i want to know if anyone out has same experience that i am going through,if possible contact me, i feel god s inside me, but it hard to tell,when i wake up in the morning, i thank god for me been here,some time i just want to do nothing, but i am letting my self down as well god,there is a light at the end of the tunnel, god will tell me ..